From my friend Mike, whose advice I was seeking re: the email, fax, or hand deliver the application in person quandary.

Michael: Fake an emergency (or injure yourself–but not too much–if you feel guilty about lying) to get them over to your place, and then hand the EMTs that show up your resume

me: HA HA HA HA
I’m sure that would go over really well and I would certainly get the job.  :P
this was also mildly amusing:
me: so when i go in person, wear a suit? or business casual?
sorry so many questions
i feel like I’m an 21 year old fresh out of school pimplefaced dweeb
i don’t know where all my baller ibanker confidence went

Michael: probably down the tube with the rest of wall st….

The man, he has a point.