So I came out to my Aunt and Uncle’s in suburbia for the weekend, and brought Linus.  They live 15-minutes down the road from my station, so I thought it would be an easy ride in tomorrow morning at 5:30am, instead of the hour long, traffic-dodging white knuckle commute I’d been braving from San Francisco last week.  Also, being out here really gave me the chance to relax, refresh myself and study free of distraction this weekend.

I did a 31 mile bike ride on Friday and the same 31 mile loop today.  It felt so good to get back out on the bike, and this loop is perfect.  Not much traffic, nice pavement, wide shoulders and bike lanes, plus it’s got nice rolling hills and a four-mile, long slow climb through Palomares Canyon.  The Palomares Canyon climb is PERFECT for me right now- I need to build strength and endurance on the hills, and it’s long enough and not too steep to really work me.  It also winds through a few wineries and you have a great view at the summit (although my one beef with the route- not enough freaking places to sit and rest!!) at the top.  Plus, I made friends with the fruit stand vendor parked at the bottom of Eden Canyon Rd on the route on Friday, so today he had a chair and cold water waiting for me when I arrived   Talk about an amigo.  Even refused to let me pay for the apricot and strawberries I noshed.

My route, with elevation:

So why am I calling this a “spa” weekend?  Well, each day when I get back from riding or running, I’ve treated myself to a suntan and swim in the pool.  I even brought Linus in for a dip, although he hated it.    Linus does NOT like to swim!!  I think stems back to when Earl threw him in the Saco River behind my parent’s house when we were visiting them in North Conway.  So yesterday I cajoled and cajoled, but Linus was having none of it.  He wouldn’t even chase the ball into the pool!  Dog Failure.

Here he is, saying “get me the heck out of here!”

and here are my swollen, post-ride feet, enjoying a refreshing dip:

I didn’t wear a bike shirt these past couple of rides (it’s tough to get yourself back into the spandex mindset after a year off the bike- I did the spandex shorts but wore a plain old cotton T-shirt), so I was lacking pockets and didn’t bring the camera.  I plan on doing the same ride Tuesday morning after my 24-hour shift, and then bringing Earl on it this weekend coming up.  Maybe when Earl comes he’ll have pockets for the camera- or, I *might* be mentally ready for spandex by then.  We’ll see.  Our fourth of July plans are to do the bike ride Saturday, then attend the “bring your own meat” block party on my Aunt and Uncle’s cul-de-sac.  Also, I plan on bringing Earl to party down at this cool looking divey-type bar I rode my bike past in downtown Sunol.  We love places like that- they remind us of Steinhoff’s in Lake Placid, where we used to go during ski weekends at Whiteface and also where we spent New Years 2008!   Sunday we’re going to hit up the Alameda county fair, which should be a blast.  I adore county fairs, so I’m really psyched.   In fact, I’m really looking forward to the entire weekend- seems like such a classic, American way to spend the 4th of July.  My aunt already picked up the fair tickets, so we are ready to go!  Perhaps I’ll even have good news by then re: job training status to celebrate.

it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.

How much you can take, and keep moving forward.

That’s how winning is done.

Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth.  But you gotta be willing to take the hits.  And not pointing fingers saying: You ain’t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody.

I took some big hits last week.  Some very big hits.  But, trying to keep moving forward, and prove that I can take it.  Looks like I survived the first week of training (barely) and got invited back for another week. Hopefully I’ll have two more weeks of training and then be a legitimate employee. I had planned on writing up a big post complaining about how hard on me my FTO has been, but decided to just leave at, she’s tough and I’m learning a lot. I am not exaggerating when I say that I think she is enjoying watching me suffer.

My posting might be sporadic over the next couple weeks while I try to finish out my training and survive the crazy shifts. My schedule is a 24-hour shift Monday-Tuesday and then a 36-hour shift Wednesday-Thursday night. The 36-hour shift was rough. REAL rough. I need to get better at sleeping in 2-hour spurts in the station bunks with my uniform pants on. Last week I could barely fall asleep between calls, and my performance suffered greatly as I was totally exhausted. I’ve always been a bit of a finicky sleeper, so the new environment coupled with the stress of passing my training coupled with sleeping in uncomfortable Dickies EMT pants with my contacts in and knowing I have to be able to wake up and be at the rig ready for call in under 2-minutes hasn’t really been jiving. I think it’s one of those things like the military- you adjust and learn to conch out when you can out of necessity. Speaking of the military, did I mention that I learned my FTO is a former Army Sergeant? And yes, I think she hates me and she kinda did haze me on Thursday and yes, she did make me cry. Ugh. How unprofessional of me.

By the way, I’m beginning to think of every single office job in the world as a “cupcake” job, because my past 60-hours of working as an EMT have been REAL HARD WORK. We are out there sweating, moving heavy people around, on practically no sleep, remaining friendly and compassionate while being on top of assessments and noticing the tiniest detail (missing something like a shunt could be a critical fail), eating whenever we have a spare second, and generally not being entirely appreciated by the patients. All for $9 an hour. I don’t miss my job on the trading floor, but man- do I realize now how cushy office jobs are! Ahh, the days of bringing in 100k while surfing the internet all day, emailing, two hour lunches, fancy ergonomic chairs and skipping out to the gym during work are over.

I’m looking forward to this job toughening me up and of course the end of the day satisfaction of feeling like I really did measurable good work, helping people in need and dare I say it… saving lives. On Thursday after work I was standing in line at the taco truck in SF’s financial district to grab Earl and I some tacos to nosh, and these three slicked-back-parted-hair bankers, sporting preppy striped Thomas Pink shirts, pointy Italian shoes, and horn rimmed glasses walked out of their office building and stood ins line behind me, loudly mucking it up about buy sides and leverage and who the hottest summer interns are. (Note- I’ve noticed SF i-bankers are tad more hipster than NYC i-bankers. The NYC types have a certain… greasier/cigar chomping feel whereas the SF banking type have a bit more suave/metroish/gay feel) I was sporting in my EMS-blue cargo pants (cool reflective tape, zillions of pockets filled with trauma sheers, etc), big ass braided black leather belt with mag light holster, giant tactical combat EMS boots, sports bra, white undershirt and mirrored aviator shades. I’d just gotten off my 36-hour shift and was feeling a tad badass. Hands on my hips, I pivoted around and looked them up and down. The teensiest bit of a smirk curled up as I allowed myself to revel in minor glee at the thought, “I am so happy to be free of working with the likes of you morons anymore.” Damn it feels good not to be a banker!!

Uhhhh. So sore. I can’t move my arms.

Earl was an angel when I got home from my 7am yesterday-7am today shift this morning. After my long, hot shower he ushered me into bed and promptly cuddled me, put lotion on and massaged my feet and ordered me to take a nap. Yay, Earl.

My shift was HELL. I’m going to say right off the bat how much it sucked, and how poorly I did. I better pass this training, I think I was borderline today and that might be generous. I want to be a great EMT. But I just felt so “off” the entire shift… maybe I was tired, maybe it was nerves, maybe I was too tentitive with the patients, maybe some of this stuff will come with experience. But I didn’t feel confident and was thrown off by how much they just threw me in there. After ONE patient, my FTO wanted me to lead every single call! GAH. Mapping out directions, filling out the PCRs, leading the calls, lifting the patients. I was getting a lot wrong and felt like I just sucked. I was never quick enough in my mapping (supposed to get it in 2 minutes route to route and also a separate plan B to nearest en-route hospital), stayed too long on scene, couldn’t lift the gurney on some of the heavier patients, my assessments were choppy and not on point, I kept getting really grossed out by smells and feeling sick, and man. I just straight out sucked. All shift.

We got to sleep from 1:30am-3:30am. When we got woken up with a call, I did NOT make it to the rig in 3 minutes window we had to get to the rig. I got out of bed, rushed to put on my pants, shoes, and pee and was two minutes late.

We went into a board and care for the mentally ill at 4:00am that smelled completely rank and kept making me gag. Plus whatever smell it was vaporized into my clothes for the rest of the day. It radiated out of my clothing and smelled SO horrendous. I drove the entire way home this morning with the windows down, despite sitting in CA smog/traffic for an hour. Even thinking about that smell now I feel sick.

Had a guy with fungus of the groin keep scratching and scratching and then waving his hand around the rig, another guy with a dirty diaper on who kept scratching that then sticking his feces-smelling hand out at us.

TOENAILS!!!! GAH. wtf is with all the GROSS, gross extra-long, rotted, pointy toenails!!! omg disgusting. plus when you lift the gurney into the ambulance their claw like feet are right in your face.

patient with d-cub w/ MRSA who didn’t tell me he had MRSA when i was doing my SAMPLE.

3 people over 300lbs. I can’t lift the gurney. I am SO sore already and i just got off shift an hour ago. arms hurt. worried i am going to fail my training because i can’t lift the gurney high enough (i am 5′3 and i could only lift it to my waist). need more practice or more strength or better technique.

my insane FTO wants me to work her next THIRTY SIX HOUR shift starting tomorrow at 7am and going till thursday 7pm. Good fucking god. She said I have the option to only work the 24-hour shift 7am-7am Thurs, however it would be “better” if I did the whole 36 hour shift and I could tell in her voice that I damn well should do that whole 36 hours.

i think (hope) i will get used to all of the above. but wish i had more time to decompress/sleep/study/take 5000 showers/practice assessments before having to go do it all again (but 10 hours longer) starting tomorrow at 5am. I feel like I’m getting so much info and have no chance to process it. Today (yesterday) absolutely sucked, and I sucked. Maybe the initial period will suck no matter what, and you have to get through the learning curve anyways so why not do it all at once. But damn I wish I had longer to catch up on my studying, go over everything I learned today and to let get my arms un-sore. They hurt so fucking much.

Also, honestly? maybe this is just a dumb newbie thing, but i was surprised people weren’t more thankful for the care we were giving them. not many of them seemed all that appreciative. wasn’t expecting them to bow down and sing our praises or anything, but i never expected patients to be so… argumentative and grumpy. one patient called my FTO a dyke and complained she didn’t want a lesbian touching her. (my fto wears a rainbow flag pin).

Oh yeah. and the back of ambulances are freaking HOT. maybe i acclimated to nice temperate SF city and now that i am shlepping 300lb people around the east bay greenhouse smog i can’t take the heat, but damn i was sweating like a pig in the back of the rig. My BO combined with the gag-inducing mentally ill board and care smell radiating out of my clothes was hella potent, and I am NOT looking forward to re-living that smell when I get my uniform out of the laundry basket and go wash it in about 10 minutes.

So, I’ve had a nap, am off to walk the dog and then a few hours of chilling and studying before going to bed early (trying to fall asleep at 7:30pm tonight) to get up at 5:30 and give it another shot- this time for a 36 hour straight shift.

I have to step up my game- not feeling really great about my performance today. Here’s to improvement and a silent prayer I can get my act together and pass this training. Imagine if this was all for nothing??

Got back from a bike ride (!!) this morning, walked Linus to the grocery store and grabbed ingredients to whip these up:

- whole wheat flour
-wheat germ
- salt
- brown sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 mushed banana
- 1.5 sliced bananas
- 1 cup milk
- baking powder

Served with peach, cherry, strawberry ginger and zest of tangerine smoothies (random combo but I was just throwing in whatever fruit we had laying around), which came out pretty darn good!
Also will be making homemade veggie soup later to freeze individual sized portions and last throughout the week.
It’s Made from Scratch Sunday.

ps- yes Earl did the dishes.

except, Earl generally agrees to do the dishes.

Man, I love Dinosaur Comics.  I permanently scarred a relationship with a friend from home when I got her this card when she was preggers.  Not all that many people share my (riotously funny) sense of humor, I guess.  Fink.

Look what I just ordered for my niece’s 6th birthday:

The Wabbit!!!

Aggh, so cute.  I am dying

I love this artist on Etsy, A Little Character.  Her stuff is just so whimsical and fun.

We have a couple of her cats and dragons, which Earl simply does NOT understand why I order these things.  He’s so funny.  “Tell me why,” he asks me, “we needed a clay replica of Lucy begging for food to sit on our counter?”  “Because,” I tell him, “it’s so cute.  And they make me smile.”

Hee.  Men.  They just don’t get it.

Anyways, I love her stuff and they always make me grin.  I’ve decided to start getting her items for my niece’s birthdays each year and they can start their own collections.  This way I won’t be buying more for us to have around the house for Earl to get grumpy over and instead can shower them with gifts.

Here are the cats I have (as well as a corgi, not by A Little Character) in front of a photo I have of my sisters and I.   Yes, that is me, the munchkin in the middle, and my twin (to each other) sisters are in the background.  So cute, right?

Well, yesterday was my first day and it was pretty great. We have a full gym in the ambulance bay which is just fantastic. Although it sounds like we post (park the ambulance in a specific location and wait for a call) the entire shift, so I guess people just use it before and after their shifts? Also, everyone at the company seems genuinely nice and it does seem to have a very “family” vibe.

There was one other new-hire and myself, which apparently there were 75 applicants for 2 positions, and we were the chosen two. Wow.   Just shows what the economy is like these days.  The thing that freaked me out yesterday was that the very first thing we did was have to take freaking 200 question exam!! Agh!! I was killing myself, I wish I would have anticipated that there was going to be a test, and studied. It was on DNRs and legality questions, and then a section on how to read the Thomas Guide. Also a bunch of skills questions and we also had skills testing.

So I passed the test, but am getting pretty nervous for the next couple weeks of training. Basically we have 3-10 shifts with our FTO which we can either pass or fail. And if you fail, then you don’t get an offer of employment, and you are SOL. So our boss tells us that 50% OF ALL TRAINEES FAIL THE TRAINING! Agggggh. No pressure there. He tells us that things we can do other than really nailing our skills are to be early every shift, look neat in our uniforms, study the (300 page each) different protocols for the four different counties our firm operates in, volunteer to wash the rigs and do dishes, stay late, and be a good team member. 50% failure rate!

I called my FTO this morning to schedule my training and she sounds really nice. Although she works 24 hour shifts! So next week I am doing three 24 hour shifts with her starting Monday at 7:00am. I asked if I should bring pajamas, and she said “Well, if we get a call we have to be on the rig driving out in under 3 minutes, so I normally don’t change, but if you think you’ll have time to doso go for it.” Fack.

I haven’t stayed up 24 hours straight in a very long while. This is going to be interesting. Nothing like throwing myself headfirst into the fire.

Also a kind of fun detail is they are sending us to an 8-hour EVOC course (emergency vehicle operators) which takes place on a TRACK. Heh. Cool. But still… lots of pressure to pass the training.

On my to do list for the weekend is going to the uniform shop in San Jose to get sized and fitted for issued pants and also pick up some boots. I’m dragging Earl, and we’ll most likely take Linus and go to the beach afterward. We’ve got quite a bit to celebrate, so might as well make it a fun day

Here is some EVOC course footage I found online… can’t wait for this class:
EVOC Driving Coarse

Dear Earl,

Well, tomorrow morning is my first day working at my brand new career out here in California, where we decided to move together almost 11 months ago. And I wouldn’t be heading out that door for this new adventure without your encouragement, love and support over the past year.

When I’m making the big bucks as a physician, I intend to shower you with gifts and vacations and neverending 12-course dinners out on the town. Until then, while I am making lowly bucks as an EMT, I will have to merely with shower with smooches and bear hugs and homemade soups.

Thank you for buying me mushroom pizza for dinner tonight to celebrate my new job, and for toasting with me to new starts and new adventures and following our dreams.

Thank you for being so great to my Aunt and Uncle out here, and the rest of my family in general. I am sorry you somehow got roped into being tech support to my mom and cousin’s and all of their extended families. Poor Earl- he specializes in back end mathematics and charges $200 an hour for professional projects, but still somehow manages to devote hours helping me with this wordpress blog, my cousins with their digital cameras and itunes music and my mom with her gmail account all on the house.

Thank you for graciously tolerating my aunt’s ever more conservative ramblings, all while managing to compliment the chicken casserole she’s serving despite the fact she is parroting Glen Beck.

Thank you for agreeing to come to bed at 2:30am and cuddling me instead of staying up all night writing code which I know you are very tempted to do!

Thank you for agreeing to wake up and watch the sunrise with me atop of Corona Heights Park. I fully intend to take you up on this sometime in the next few weeks.

Thank you for harassing me to go to the dentist and lately yelling at me to floss my teeth each night.

Thank you holding my hand while we amble around the Farmer’s Market, where we always buy way too many berries and never enough spinach or kale.

Thank you for loving me even though I’m sure I drive you nuts sometimes. And while I’ve been unemployed these last couple of months, I’m bet that has been more than normal. I love you. You’re my best friend in the whole world.

Love Always,
CJ

Hunter green? Raspberry? Pine green? Seafoam? Peach?

Hmm….

I think I am going to go with “pine green” as it will accent my eyes and not clash with our navy EMS uniforms.

Other things on my shopping list:
- EMS boots (with steel toe to place the backboard down and also to help when you are putting the cot down by yourself)
- holster for gloves, scissors, and pocket guide
- EMT field guide
- possibly a Leatherman Tool, trauma shears, and AA maglite

I’m going to wait until after tomorrow (my first day) and see what else they recommend I get, and what they give me, and then pick up the rest this weekend. Exciting!

I got a job, I got a job, I got a job!!!

WA-HOOOOO

I am now officially employed as an EMT. Hurrah!

It’s at an ambulance company based in the East Bay. I dropped of my application in person with them two weeks ago, and talked to the hiring manager when I did. He called me today and told me “you know, normally I call people back in for a sit down interview, but I just had such a good feeling about you when we met before, am so impressed with your resume and when I called your references you had such glowing recommendations that I am just going to go ahead and extend you the offer now.” AYE!!!

There I was on the other end of the phone trying not screech in his ear with joy.

So I’m start this freaking Thursday! Can’t believe it.

I am just so happy and so excited that my hard work over the past few months- both in EMT school and job hunting has paid off. I’m only going to be part time at this ambulance company (because of the economy they couldn’t extend a full-time offer but he said I can try and pick up extra shifts and as soon as someone leaves I can get more hours), but that’s fine because it will leave me time for all the other classes and training I need to do in the next few months. Plus that way I can still volunteer at the Emergency Department at St. Lukes and also with Linus as a therapy dog.

YES!!!!

My first day on Thursday is an orientation day- I won’t actually be on the rig, so I have to wear “business casual” and will be touring the company, seeing where things are on the rig, filing out paperwork, etc. Also- here’s something that’s new and seems to just be part of the way this industry works- I don’t actually have an official job yet, what I do have is a “Conditional Offer of Employment” which is for six weeks- apparently they make sure you know how to do everything, etc and then you get your official offer.

Still, I am just so excited. Career change complete, it’s official: So Long, Financial Industry, Hello Healthcare! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!! I HAVE A JOB!! Whoooooo I think I am going to mow Earl down in the biggest bear hug ever when he walks through the door tonight.