I just got through cleaning out eight megabytes (!!!) of spam. This is a waste of my time, so starting Monday, I’m going to block spammy bits of the internet from being able to get to this website. If I accidentally catch any of you, please email CJ.
Also, do we have any legitimate readers from Saudi Arabia? They’re also going dark if nobody speaks up.
and then I fell head over heels for a handsome fella who fancied himself a cat lover.
Now, she and I still have our differences, but I must confess, when you come home aggravated and embittered from a frustrating morning/afternoon battling DMV bureaucracy, having a purring kitty walk over to you park herself on your chest proves to be delightfully consoling.
Lucy sooths my DMV aggravations
So… yeah. I should have upgraded WordPress to 2.7.1 a long time ago which hopefully would have prevented some script kiddy overwriting the theme files, but either the hosting company Maia or WordPress aren’t smart enough to not overwrite any custom themes you’ve installed and it’s a pain to upgrade without shell access. In any case, bad admin, no cookie for me.
For posterity’s sake:
Hacked ~ By ~ ImM0RtAl BrAiN
In other news, I will be fixing the theme.
Was psyched to get this in the mail today:
National Registry EMT Certification
Also, check out my new hair color & cut! A little windswept as I just walked in from eating lunch outside on this glorious but EXTREMELY WINDY day with Linus at boulange de cole (our favorite neighborhood place to sit outside and chow):
new hair color & cut
I wanted to go with something a little more professional looking than the “bleach bottle blond” which I’ve had of late, so I asked him to tone it down a bit to more of a dirty blond/brunette. Hopefully this will look a little nicer when my roots come in as well, to eliminate the skunk stripe I’ve been sporting!
So I can’t start working just yet, I’m still up to my ears in certifications and paperwork, but hopefully I will get everything else done in the next two weeks. I still have to do:
)I think that’s everything, although who knows I might be missing something. All of this stuff requires a very thorough double-check. For example today when I was making my livescan appointment next week, they couldn’t make my appointment until I had the ORI Request which I needed to get from the DMV. Complete pain! So I spent almost four hours on the phone with various people trying to get everything rushed through. I think I’m set for next week. The aggravating thing is all of these things are sequential (ie- you can’t do the ambulance test until you have the livescan form, etc) and oftentimes each of the steps has a 3 business day or more lag time, so it’s all FAR from instantaneous. Also, almost every single step has a $70-$100 fee, so it’s quite a bit to shell out!
Phew.
Other than that, what else have I got going on? Oh some exciting news! I’m starting Crossfit next week! I’m taking an introduction class on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I realized that I needed to gain a bunch of functional strength so I can pass the CPAT, which is the California Physical Fitness Test for firefighters. From everything I’ve heard, Crossfit is *the* program for functional strength. So basically I’ll be crossfitting to suppliment my standard running schedule as strength training days. I’m looking foward, although a bit aprehensive as I’ve heard it’s BRUTAL. You should have heard me on the phone with the very patient and helpful program director as I was signing up for the class with SF Crossfit. “Are you SURE someone out of shape can do it?” ….. “yeah, but… are you SURE???????” lol. Next Tuesday should be amusing, at the very least. 
I passed, I passed, I passed, I passed.
Exam Date: 4/20/2009 (CST)
Results Date: 4/21/2009 (CST)Examination Scored
Congratulations on successfully earning your national EMS certification.
Certification documents will be mailed to the address provided in your account profile by first class US Postal service within three business days.
YIEEEAH HA!
This wouldn’t be such a big deal, except when I left the NREMT testing site yesterday, I was SURE I had failed. There were some majorly hard and strange questions. I was not feeling good about it at ALL. I was in a major funk leaving the testing site, and then spent the day moping around North Beach with my lovely friend Elaine, who tried her darnedest to cheer me up.
Such a great thrill when I logged into the National Registry of EMTs this morning to find this exciting news!
are for attacking green monsters
attack of the green monster!
after a proud kill
Here’s a kitten spinning around being cute
*if you are squeamish I advise you skip this post!
So anyone who is unfortunate to know me well enough knows I have this macabre fascination with answering the question:
“What would be the Worst Way to Die?”
And after much rumination on the subject, many lengthy discussions, and ample research, I had finally settled in on the following answer:
Getting Eaten Alive by Wild Hogs
Yes, getting eaten alive by wild hogs is certainly the worst way to go. First of all, they’ll eat you from the extremities inwards. So you’ve got that long-lasting, painful death. Secondly, there’s the sheer terror factor that’s got to ramp it up. Being attacked and trying to fight off a raging pack of bloodthirsty wild hogs? Terrifying! After your arms and legs have been devoured, the next thing they’ll go for is your face. Can you imagine that? You’d feel them EAT YOUR FACE OFF!! And you can’t really fight back at that point, because they’ve already devoured your arms and legs. (No pulling a black knight). Finally, once they’re done with you, there’s going to be absolutely no remains for a funeral because they will eat EVERYTHING including your bones. So yeah, that’s the worst way. The interesting fact here is that Earl’s brother-in-law in Wisconsin owns a hog farm, and so I am always threatening to call him up and have a little chat about experimenting with feeding people to the hogs.
So here’s the interesting new development to this milieu: After my EMT class I am pleased to report I have a new items up for consideration on the “what would be the worst way to die” question:
Necrotizing Fasciitis!
The very day we learned about Necrotizing Fasciitis, aka “the flesh eating bacteria,” I was taken in. I immediately went home and googled and googled and image searched and image searched. My poor, dear, conservative Aunt. “Woah! Gross! Check this out!!,” I would exclaim and tilt the laptop over in her direction on the couch. She would glance up from Glen Beck to nod, “yep, that’s pretty bad!” I venture she has a bit of a steel stomach, my suspicion is all that gambling in Reno toughened her up.
According to what we learned in class, necrotizing fasciitis is rampant in the California Prison systems. Apparently only THREE of all the prisons in the state do NOT have major necrotizing fasciitis outbreaks, and “the CDC is all over this.” Most inmates hide things in their anus, urethra or mouth, so that’s where the majority of the infections begin. Here’s an example of a NF infection that started in the anus, one from the urethra, and one from the mouth. Don’t click those if you are squeamish.
Anyways, the crazy part is, I actually have a pretty high chance of actually running into this someday, because guess who picks up and transports patients from prisons to medical centers?? BLS transport companies! Nuts, huh? Makes you think twice about those wimpy little paper PPE gowns on the rig. “Umm, hello, CDC? I’ll take one hazmat suit, stat, please.”
So, what makes necrotizing fasciitis up there with getting eaten alive by wild hogs as one of the absolute worst ways to die? Hmm…. well, first of all the likelihood of where it would start. Your face, your anus or your urethra all seem like three pretty tender places where I venture it would be extremely demoralizing and PAINFUL to have a flesh eating bacteria. Secondly, there’s the rapid spread of the bacteria. If you go here and click “forward” through the powerpoint presentation (pretty awesome, IMO), you can see how quickly NF progresses over a 24-hour period. Having something like that spread around and take over your body at that rate? It’s quick enough so you can actually NOTICE the rapid progression, but not too quick where you just get it over with and it doesn’t matter. It’s slow enough to really draw out the suffering.
Next there’s the grossness factor. I mean look at that! That’s gross! You can SEE IT! The bacteria is inside your body! It’s eating your flesh! That’s terrifying. Having your flesh being eaten away like that down to the subdermal level? Painful, painful, painful.
Apparently necrotizing fasciitis is only deadly in 30% of cases. Amputation and rapid treatment with high-dosage antibiotics are they way to go. Ergo, if you are really set out to kill someone in the most horrible fashion possible I still recommend you feed them to wild hogs. But if you’re looking for a pretty nasty medical condition to gross out boyfriends, aunts, or anyone else you happen to be gchatting with, try NF.
Further, if you’re a weirdo like me and fascinated by gross-out diseases such as this, may I suggest some research into brown recluse spider bites, mucormycosis (fungal infection), the whole gambit of all the common diabetic foot conditions, and finally there’s this craziness. Have fun!
My likeness, as drawn by my niece:
Kam Kam's rendition of yours truly
Can’t you see the resemblance?
She drew it on a very sweet thank you card which I received today in the mail for sending her a “no reason at all” surprise care package filled with Kami Fuzen (Japanese paper balloons). I sad to say, it is *much* harder to spoil the nieces and nephew from afar! To counteract, I’ve taken to picking up delightful things as I bop around the city and mailing them out. But things like this make me miss them all like crazy!
Here’s the adorable Kam and I last Christmas:
Kam & CJ @ Christmas in Mystic
Oh, just your typical results of a mid-Saturday afternoon post-walk, study break grooming session, a collaborative effort of of Earl and Linus:
dog hair a la Linus
It can be noted that while Earl endearingly loves to groom Buddy, including brushing, teeth-brushing and nail dremeling, he REFUSES to actually clean the RESULTS of the grooming, thus leaving me to clean up piles of hair, nail clipping and doggie toothbrush & toothpaste.
The End of Overeating by David Kessler
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